I want to feel joy.

Yet, I fail at forcing it to the surface.

I am a stranger to myself.

The only thing I really know,

Is that I am.

My heart, 

is full of anger, rage, and despair.

They are buried deep inside

A pit with walls of loneliness and sorrow. 

Always seeking yet never finding.

Eternally here, and never there.

I am slowly killed by toxins,

dis-pleasures, of the flesh.

Life is short, and I am thankful.