If you could see me now

If you could see me

you would be so disapointed

in how im dealing with the loss of you

I can't think clearly

I am a freaking mess

Doing the pills that you tryed to help

me get away from, so i don't sleep.

 

I'm afraid to sleep cuz all i see is you

laying lifeless on the fucken bed

My head is spinning with memories

My heart is torn to shit and

my sanity flew out the door.

 

All i want to do is sit in our room

and cry, i want to smash things and yell

i want to fall apart

let all my pain go.

I'm afraid to let it go

afraid i won't stop and ill go crazy.

 

When will the rage subside

I'm so empty, and cold

I just want to give up and drownd

my anger and sarrow.

 

The black hole that swallowed you

wants to consume me too

I'm fighting it but i miss you

and the pain i'm feeling is much

to much for me alone.

 

I look at pictures of you

I have to ask myself is this real

did i ever really know you

is he gone?

Then reality sets in

and i know

I;m alone